Julie can't eat cheese

Hello Friends! It’s been a few months since I checked in and I don’t know where the time has gone! I really wanted to have a gentle start to the new year and have been fully embracing the idea of wintering: looking inward, reading, cozy blankets on the couch, drinking warm tea and soups. Dan and I also did yoga every night in January (and much of February), which has been an amazing way to end the day and has helped with the tightness on my left side from radiation. I feel like I have blinked and March is almost here.

My one year of “no evidence of disease” (1/18) came and went and while I silently acknowledged and thought about it, in some ways it felt like tempting fate to celebrate (like maybe if we just ignore it, it will go away forever?). My rational brain knows it doesn’t work that way… but my health fears are not always based in reality these days. Which… I am working on!

I started the new year by creating two vision boards (at 2 separate events). So.much.visioning! One session started with a guided meditation and green was the dominant color I saw – hence the very green board. Green often symbolizes good health and nature and is the color of the heart chakra – which, when in balance, is associated with love, compassion, joy, balance, and connection. My 2024 word joy continues to pop up often!

My second board has a lot more going on. This year feels transformative in some ways – as I continue to deal with, process, and make meaning of the last year and heal.

I saw my radiation oncologist on 1/10. This was my 3 month follow up from radiation (which ended in late Sept) to see how I have healed. My RO was really happy with how things looked (she said “You can’t even tell!” [that I had radiation]). I have felt some tightening on that side and have less range of motion. The doctor thought I might have some lymphedema and encouraged me to do daily lymphatic massage and said she would also put in a referral for physical therapy. I don’t think I have lymphedema but am open to the PT referral to get some support on the range of motion and tightness. I graduated from radiation! I have no additional follow ups there, but my RO said I am welcome to come back and see her if I have any issues or questions.

I had my first post-chemo haircut 2/3 – my request “make me look cool and a little less chia pet!” Since my hair wants to just stand straight up in all directions, I had the sides shaved to look more like a faux hawk (i.e. like an intentional style). It feels a lot better and not just like chaos on my head.

I met my new oncologist on 2/12 – which is my birthday. [Note to self – do not schedule future appointments on your birthday, it is not a fun way to spend your birthday.] It was overall a fine appointment but there will be upcoming changes to my medication. With that comes more appointments, new potential side effects, and more monitoring. I’ll be switching my hormone blocker from Tamoxifen to Letrozole (an aromatase inhibitor or AI), which is for folks who are post menopausal. I’ve had very few side effects with Tamoxifen (some joint pain, but if I move a lot during the day, I don’t have it and the nightly yoga also helps). AIs also cause joint pain and my oncologist said it’s usually worse than on Tamoxifen. I’ll also be starting Verzenio, another pill, taken twice a day for two years that has been shown to reduce recurrence when taken with an AI. And then lastly, a third drug called Zometa, which is an infusion every 6 months for three years and has been shown to prevent calcium loss from treatment and reduce risk of bone metastasis. Before I start Verzenio and Zometa, I have to have an EKG, bone density test, and a dental evaluation. Verzenio can also impact the liver and white blood count and Zometa the kidneys, so I will have blood tests to monitor levels while on them.

*sigh*

This was a lot to take in. I had recently read about Zometa and Verzenio, so adding them wasn’t a surprise. I just hadn’t anticipated the pre-appointments, new side effects, and then monitoring. It felt like a lot to take in and I was quite teary the rest of the day about it. Again, on my birthday. No more birthday appointments.

Luckily, we left the next day for Costa Rica and I could forget about it for awhile! I completely checked out and didn’t think about appointments or medications or new side effects for 10 glorious days! I had wanted to be somewhere warm and sunny and tropical for my birthday week and we decided on CR. It was an amazing getaway and I got teary when we had to leave (which isn’t due to the hormone blocker – I often cry when returning from vacation).

My primary phone number didn’t work in CR, so I returned to several messages from Kaiser about my new meds and setting up appointments. I was able to run into the lab for blood work and my EKG. Once those results are back, the oncology pharmacist will ship the Verzenio and will call me to discuss the medication and side effects. I was also able to schedule my bone density test for early March and will see my oncologist again on 3/12 to review everything. I should then start the Zometa infusions. One last message I got from Kaiser was about my colon cancer screening. I turned 45 (!!) this year so it’s time to start! Friends – are you all on top of your health screenings? If not, this is your reminder!

It’s pretty wild that a year ago I was cutting my hair, getting my port in, and starting chemo. In some ways that all seems like so much longer than a year. I am so grateful to be at this point and even though I am anxious about new meds, I know I am lucky to have continued treatment options. The journey to heal is far from over and maybe it never actually ends, but I continue to move forward! I hope you all have also had a gentle start to the year. ❤️