Julie can't eat cheese

Chemo sucks. The end. That’s the whole post.

Kidding. I had started a post the day of chemo with updates, but then never published it. So this is a mashup of how chemo #1 went and the days after.

I was super anxious for my first chemo cycle on 2/22. Dan and P came in with me to the medical center, then left when they called me back. P had winter break so she and Dan ran errands during my infusion. I talked with my oncologist before on the phone – since this was the first chemo, it was just to check in if I had any questions and we talked about the lab work. She isn’t concerned about my liver levels being elevated at this point, since they were right above normal and I’ve been taking Tylenol/Ibuprofen through all my various procedures. She was also glad to see the CBC level going down since my first lab last Sept.

The infusion center has 5 chairs in a room and there were two nurses working. The chairs are heated and recline in various positions. My nurse took my vitals, placed an IV line in my port, then gave me anti-nausea meds, and a steroid. I had to wait 25 mins for all the meds to kick in before we could get started. I did a Peloton meditation while I waited to calm. the eff. down.

It was Red Devil (Adriamycin) first. One of the nurses called it Big Red – not sure which is better/worse? The nurse had 4 syringes of Red Devil (and it is bright red) and put them directly into the IV line. They were administered over 15 minutes. She told me to tell her immediately if I felt any pain or burning at my port site as that was bad. I asked her about sweaty palms – because mine were sweating! That was just anxiety. Then I felt hot – also anxiety. Then, Red Devil was done and it was on to Cytoxin.

This went through the IV line over 1 hour. She said if I tolerated it well, they would do 30 minutes next time. I was to tell her if I had burning in my sinuses. I did not. I packed a ton of stuff with me, but I just listened to music (thank you for the recommendations!) and texted while I was there. The nurse also did an injection demo with me for the shots.

I rested all day after chemo – it was mostly emotionally/mentally exhausting. I think the steroid pill before chemo masked physical symptoms until it wore off, late in the day on Thursday. I worked most of Thursday, as I felt ok overall. But then I starting getting an achy/sore feeling later in the day. This achy/soreness was full body and it was uncomfortable to even lay down – the back of my head hurt. I went to bed early on Thursday and then had a hard time getting up on Friday.

There isn’t really a word for the fatigue – I thought new parent fatigue was the worst. This beats new parent fatigue. I had acupuncture on Friday morning (which Dan had to drive me to) and then slept all day. I got in bed before 9 and slept until almost 9 on Saturday. I honestly was wondering HOW and IF I could do this 3 more times… I kept trying not to think ahead and worry about future cycles, but it was rough.

I had wanted to get a walk in over the weekend as I read it helps with the bone pain from the shots – but it was so cold! I had a little (ok, a big) pep talk with myself to GET UP AND MOVE! It was helpful to put my word for the year out there and I seriously pictured my whole support squad encouraging me to get up. I just wanted to lay down, but I heard and felt you all sending me strength and love! I picked this word for a reason! So I got on the Peloton and did a ride on Saturday. And it exhausted me. But I woke up on Sunday feeling a little better.

I was actually able to do some normal Sunday things – house chores and another Peloton ride – and was feeling pretty good overall. Monday – I worked a full day and didn’t take any meds!

So, side effects:

Nausea – I had 3 prescription meds and took 2 of them for 3 days. I took an extra one once I think. Overall, nausea was well maintained with the pills.

Smells – omg, it’s like being pregnant all over again where smells are super strong. I don’t know why this is?! And my nose is super dry on the inside. I ordered a nose gel/spray.

Eating – almost NOTHING sounds good but I am always hungry. I have to force myself to eat and it’s not super healthy at this point (we are still maintaining plant based/vegan). But it’s just a “get something in your stomach” type of situation. So far things that work: noodles with olive oil, rice with soy or ponzu sauce, apples and apple sauce, smoothies (minimal ingredients – not hiding any mushrooms in there), saltine crackers, soup (very plain), and Dan’s homemade bagels and sourdough bread (with vegan butter – new fav BTW – Country Crock vegan butter!). Hoping the further out I get that healthier options sound better so I can build back and be healthy for the next cycle (which is 3/8).

I am thirsty or have dry mouth all the time. Luckily water still tastes really good. I bought Liquid IV powder packs, but I threw up at home the first day of chemo and had had some of that, so now I can’t drink it. Major aversion. Xylitol gum for the win though! P also loves it so we are going through it fast!

Dan has been awesome at giving the shots – he is a needle phobe but did it each day for 5 days! My lower back has felt sore – but that’s about the extent of bone pain.

I completely forgot about the RSO oil! If cycle 2 goes like 1, I will try it on day 3.

I finally got out for a walk on Monday (2/27) – it was snowing this morning and it was cold, but it felt good to get outside and move. Thank you for all the messages and texts – you all have no idea how much it gives me LIFE! I appreciate it ALL.