Julie can't eat cheese

My echocardiogram was postponed this week until 2/14 – it was mistakenly scheduled for 30 minutes, but was supposed to be for 60 minutes. I was looking forward to over a week off of medical appointments, but not to be! The amount of phone calls and messages I get about medical things now is wild – I am either scheduling things, getting calls with instructions on how to prepare for things, messages about new referrals, billing…

Ok, another great book recommendation that was given to me: Breasts: The Owner’s Manual by Dr. Kristi Funk. I am reading this fantastically-researched book now and she gives her smoothie recipe, which is probably like a $30 smoothie with all the ingredients. I do love the idea of starting the day off with a punch of antioxidants (pow pow cancer!) and fiber [side note – for some reason we are obsessed with protein, when we should be obsessed with fiber! 97% of Americans don’t get enough! At least 30 grams per day is the goal.] and I am now on a QUEST to make amazing daily smoothies. I placed holds on a few library books – there was even a smoothie book geared towards breast cancer! I made a smoothie for Dan and I on 2/6 that had: banana, frozen fruit, plant-based protein powder, soy milk, mushroom, kale, flax seed meal, and matcha. I am not a mushroom fan, however, I have read quite a bit on how good they are for us and even half a button mushroom daily dropped breast cancer rates in a study. And I didn’t even have to chew the mushroom in my smoothie – success!

I also got a call on 2/6 from the Kaiser pharmacy to talk to me about a new medication I will have to take during my first round of chemo, which is a SELF INJECTION. OMG, what?! Local nurse friends – what can I bribe, I mean offer you if I need help???? I will learn more at my chemo teach class on 2/17… but seriously, why????

Something I noticed late last week – I have been WAKING UP before my alarm on work days. Feeling RESTED. Friends, I am not sure this has ever happened in my adult life. Could it be the plant based diet? Could it be the cancer is gone and my body is no longer at war? Could it just be I am getting old? A combination? Who knows! [Another side note – did you know a tumor pulls blood vessels to create it’s own blood supply? Nasty. So glad that GTFO.]

My port placement was on 2/7 at St Joe’s in Tacoma. Kaiser only had availability in late February, which was too late and I didn’t want to delay chemo, because let’s get this show on the road. I checked in at St Joe’s at 10am and had to have a blood draw, then it was back to radiology. A nurse took me back and when you’re having surgery or procedures they say about 50 times what you are getting and ask you about 10. As we got back to the beds, she said port placement for chemo and I got all teary. Then the tears fell after she left so I could put a gown on. Uuuugggghhh – the chemo reality is inching closer.

The nurse came back with a warm blanket and took my vitals. Another nurse took over (she was the procedure nurse) – she talked me through what would happen and put in my IV for sedation. Not anesthesia like I thought. Sedation as in comfortably loopy (on a mix of fentanyl and Valium) but AWAKE during the procedure. Oh lord… I met the PA, who would do the procedure. She also reviewed the procedure and got my consent. Then there was a slight delay as an emergency case came in (the nurse said their unit also does strokes, so they had to take that first).

About 25 minutes later, I was wheeled back to the room. The port is placed with ultrasound and x-ray assistance so I laid on a table with (I think) a small x-ray machine above me. They put oxygen in my nose, a blood pressure cuff, and heart rate monitor. I was given fentanyl and Valium in my IV (I felt nice and sleepy, but didn’t actually fall asleep) and then Lidocaine shots on the right side of my upper chest for numbing. I didn’t feel anything else but pressure and tugging. The PA gave updates as she went. It went quickly and then she was stitching it up. Another person helping cleaned up the incisions and then put glue over them and I was done. My neck and chest were already feeling sore and they said it would feel like I was punched a few times. I was wheeled back to my room, got my IV out, got my discharge paperwork (no major decisions, no heavy lifting, rest only), got dressed and was ready to go! We were out of there before 12:30. I’m now physically ready for chemo… not sure I’ll ever be emotionally ready. But gotta keep it moving.

I started feeling a little anxious about my port that evening and woke up on 2/8 feeling more anxious. I had to sleep on my back and didn’t sleep well, so this may have added to my anxiety. The discharge paperwork had a lot of what to do if things looked bad or infected, but not much on what to do otherwise. The port site felt super tender and was red in one spot – which it said to call if that happens, but why wouldn’t it be sore and red and be ok? I messaged my nurse case manager to ask what was normal and if I could ice it. She messaged me back quickly (I love her) and also forwarded my message to the oncology team. I got another message that they are most concerned about signs of infection (increasing redness, drainage, noticeable warmth at incision site, chills or fever) and about what’s normal and how to manage (pain reliever, ice). I iced throughout the day and am back on pain meds. I was definitely in my feelings – anxiousness about chemo, I am still working on mobility in my left arm, now my right side also hurts… it’s just a lot sometimes and while I am mostly staying positive and feeling good – it can be overwhelming too.

2/8 was also the day for the pre-chemo haircut! I brought my saved pictures of punk pixie in and told my hairdresser I would probably cry throughout the haircut and not to take it personal. She gave me an amazing head massage so I felt pretty chill after that and surprisingly didn’t cry. But I hate my hair – it’s so short and I would normally never wear it this short. She asked if I wanted to see the back and I said no! We laughed! I need to play around with it and see how I can style it – but I just couldn’t emotionally go from long to bald. I will probably have Dan buzz it once it starts falling out, which I have read is typically after 2nd dose of chemo (so March). I asked Dan and P to pick out and order a fun hair color and and plan to dye it this weekend. Hopefully that will be more punk!

It’s my birthday weekend! We have friends coming to visit over the next 2 weeks and are so excited! I have been joking that I need to live my best life in these 2 weeks before chemo – so cheers to living! 🥂