Julie can't eat cheese

I am back to work this week and my mom left too. She was here for 2 weeks to help during my recovery – which went so. much. better. this time around! Thankfully no rash and that made recovery much easier! I continue to have numbness and other than that, I feel really good overall.

My surgeon called last Thursday (1/27) evening to review the pathology report. There was the 1 additional positive node, but just a small amount, so he was glad we did that surgery. He was also glad to go back in and look over the lumpectomy site – he felt much better having done that and felt it looked great. He put in metal clips in the lumpectomy site to better guide radiation when the time comes to the exact area that should be obliterated… hit… radiated? I asked him about the leaking drain as well and he was not concerned – liquid coming out is good, staying in is bad. He said stripping the drain (squeezing the tubing from the end near my body to the bulb) should help. He encouraged me to start increasing range of motion on my left arm and doing some stretches walking my hand up the wall to reach as high as I am able. Lastly, he mentioned the dermoid/teratoma that was seen on the CT scan and said I will need to follow up with ob/gyn after I am done with all my cancer treatments to have that removed (another surgery – joy).

I had a general follow up on 2/1 with my oncologist in Tacoma. Dan dropped me off to go check in and he went to park. The oncology/infusion waiting area is right across from the urgent care waiting area on the first floor, with one check in for both. There are signs all over the small oncology area that say “Oncology only, no urgent care waiting.” A man (older than me) was sitting in the oncology area near the security station. He was asked to put his mask on (it was under his chin) and he started getting agitated about it, saying Covid was fake, he didn’t need to wear it. He and security went around and around about it and I finally said loudly, “Some of us are actually sick here and would appreciate you putting your mask on.” He gave me a dirty look and said something like “oh really?” Yes, jackass. It’s bad enough we are waiting 10 feet away from the sick people waiting for urgent care… The security guard asked him if he was waiting for oncology and he said no, he was waiting for someone. Security asked him to also move to another area, as this was oncology only. Then he was arguing about that (again, signs all over dude). He started to walk away then came back into the guard’s face calling him a petty tyrant and saying other things. He finally went and sat down somewhere else and I heard the guard call someone to have him removed from the building. My heart was super racing during this, like please call me inside for my appointment so I don’t need to witness him behaving worse, or like pulling a gun… because America. But then the person he was waiting for (an even older man – I’d guess late 80s) came down and so he got up and walked out with him. Security followed him out to make sure he left. *sigh*

I then got called back for my appointment and my heart rate was 145 and my blood pressure was 145/96. I was super agitated (fight/flight mode) and I typically have very low blood pressure, even at the doctor. I told the nurse what happened and she said she’d retake my blood pressure before I left. I did a lot of deep breathing (inhale… “I am here…” exhale…. “I am calm…”).

I had a great follow up overall with my oncologist! She was also pleased with pathology and the surgery and nothing will change with my treatment plan. She also said my surgeon sent in a biopsy from the lumpectomy site and it was clear. I had questions about lymphedema – I have a weird fixation on getting this. I think it’s like something I can possibly control in all this uncontrollable mess – so it’s what I am most worried about for some reason. She is referring me to PT with a lymphedema specialist to learn prevention tools and tricks. I am also getting referred for acupuncture (I read it helps with neuropathy and I love it anyways). We also talked about preparation for chemo. I talked to her about potentially removing my ovaries since I already have to have an additional surgery to remove the cyst. She said this will send me into early menopause. I am not at greater risk for ovarian cancer, since I don’t have the BRCA genes, but I do have to go on hormone suppressants for 5-10 years (to stop/lower estrogen production) which will send me into menopause. Chemo may also send me into early menopause. I don’t need to decide today – but food for thought.

When I left, my blood pressure was 116/51. The nurse said Welcome Back! Indeed.

I noticed when I was checking in for my oncology appointment the night before I had a VERY large outstanding balance. I called Kaiser billing when I got home to update my repayment plan. I was trying to estimate how much out of pocket this has all cost since September and think we are nearing $10,000. Medical costs are the #1 cause of bankruptcy. Why don’t we have universal health care yet? Anyone?

I met with my surgeon for post op on 2/2 and luckily that check in was completely calm! Everyone was wearing masks as required and not complaining. Easy peasy. My surgeon and I had already talked last week about pathology, so I didn’t have any additional questions about that. He took a look at my incisions to check how I was healing (good), range of motion (need to work on this), and I got my drain OUT! He was talking like maybe he wanted me to keep it in to prevent fluid build up, and I thought he was just looking at it, but then it was out! Phew! It’s still leaking and he said that may continue as it heals (I stocked up on gauze). We chit chatted a lot and then talked a lot about life post treatment – he recommends getting a functional medicine doctor who can do an estrogen conjugation profile and some other things. They don’t have functional medicine doctors at Kaiser, but he had some recommendations on where to find one. He mentioned some supplements I should continue to take and asked how meditation is going (on hold since recovery – starting back soon!). I am cleared to ride hard on my Peloton (with compression bra)! He recommends working out 5 days a week. While talking about chemo, he said he does recommend one type of cannabis if needed to manage symptoms. He said it’s mostly for medicinal use like cancer/chemo and can be hard to find. It’s called Rick Simpson Oil (RSO) and is concentrated so to be used in very small doses. He acknowledged chemo is going to suck, but I will get through it and with luck won’t be back. I said luck? Umm, no, I need to know all the things I need to do to not come back here! And hopefully it won’t be due to just luck. But who knows, maybe we all do need some luck. I asked if I would have any more follow up with him and he said no, this was it, I graduated! I tried not to cry! My surgeon is an exceptional human and doctor – I was super lucky to work with him!

So, I can’t actually ride hard on my Peloton for 5 days because I got new eyebrows! Microblading courtesy of some amazing friends. They gifted me eyebrows (!!!) so I will not look quite so sick in chemo. And I won’t have to draw on my own eyebrows – which would probably be crooked or uneven because I have no idea what I am doing! It was cleared by my oncologist, but had to be done before chemo started and no touch up during chemo. The esthetician used extra pigment, so hopefully less fading and they will touch me up after I finish chemo.

I’ve been thinking I need a transition haircut – I cannot go from my normal hair to bald. It’s too drastic! I have decided I want a short new ‘do, which I am calling punk pixie (ideas below). Votes please – haircut is next week!